New Years Resolutions... yeah, nah.
As much as I like to think that the new year allows for us to change, grow and turn over a new leaf, figuratively speaking, I don't really believe in them. Why? Because generally they're not well planned and generally are set up to fail. Like deciding to not each sugar for a year... good on you, m'dear.. but how committed are you REALLY to staying off the sugar crack?
I don't mean to sound like the new years grinch, because I try not to be, but goals, dreams and aspirations should be well thought out, simple and realistic. I'm not going to inform you how to write goals, how to stick to them or how to successfully stay off sugar. But, I will impart what my very few goals of 2018 are, and what my 2017 ones where and whether I upheld them.
- Self care
- Surround yourself with positive people
- Don't take s**t from anyone
- Up your game
Yes, I am aware they're short and simple, but they actually encompass a lot of different things. I'm sure there's posts about how having very specific goals are better, blah blah, but this is what works for me.
Self care was at the top of my list - having had a break down in 2015 and finally getting help (which if you follow me on social media, you'll know I am very public about mental health awareness and its importance) I had to learn the hard way that I needed to make myself a priority. So, I did. The simple action of being a bit selfish, instead of completely selfless, made a huge difference for me. If I was tired, I went to sleep instead of being a martyr and working until midnight. If I needed help with my daughter, I asked. If people sucked the energy out of me and it didn't serve me to have them in my life, I let them go, which leads me to my next goal.
Surround myself with positive people
This is something I have been working on for a very, very long time. I'm naturally empathetic and feel emotions very strongly. I also feel others emotions and thus if I am near or surrounded by negative people or negative energy, I feel like a Dementor from Harry Potter is hovering close by. I let go of negative people, deciding to not be afraid of potential backlash, awkward public bump-in's with people I had deleted or unfollowed on social media and again, hold onto my goal of self care.
Don't take s**t from anyone
I hate confrontation. Despise, loathe confrontation. This has been a very personal challenge for me as from when I was a kid, who was bullied right through until my mid teens for being "different", I was basically a door mat. I just wanted to feel accepted, a part of something. That, is what theatre allowed me to feel. I finally felt home, that I had a place I belonged outside in the real world outside my imagination and my parents. I decided last year that I was allowing people to have control over me, to abuse my good, empathetic nature and trust me, I've had my fair share of narcissists and manipulators and I decided enough was enough. I'm 30 years old, I know who I am, my mind is healthy and I am not going to allow anyone to tell me what I can't do, what I should do or what my limitations are. Also, I wanted to be a role model for my little girl, as I didn't want her to go through what I did growing up. This goal in particular I am proud of, as I have spoken up when I have needed to and I didn't allow myself to be a doormat. Sure, there's a few times I have decided to walk away and be the bigger person, and I still need to work on personal confrontation, especially with volatile characters, but on the whole I felt like I nailed this, as well as my other goals.
Up your game
Now this I feel like I really nipped in the bud. I'm very aware of the difference between ego and confidence, and I really, really hope I never look egotistical as that's not me at all, but without going into huge amounts of detail, here's the things I'm most proud of this year:
⭐️ Winning the national title of Supreme Grand Tease New Zealand 2017, as well as other titles and accolades. This was so freakin’ cool - considering I performed alongside and was in competition with 30 of NZ’a fabulous burlesque talents. Absolute tops!
⭐️ Performing in the Hollywood Burlesque Festival - seriously HUGE one!
⭐️ Producing 6 burlesque and variety shows for Cassette Nine and UXBRIDGE Arts & Culture, as well as an event for Auckland Council.
⭐️ Coming third in NZ’s first drag king pageant, King of all Kings 🤴
⭐️ Performing in about 35 live performance shows, events, Parties and theatrical productions. I’m aiming for more in 2018! 🤜
⭐️ Teaching some truly lovely, wonderful, talented ladies the art of burlesque through Bambina Burlesque Academy NZ.
⭐️ Being featured in prolific magazines such as Viva, Fashion Quarterly, Sinical Mag, Eastlife and various newspapers and online publications and blogs.
⭐️ Being featured on Newshub and having the fabulous Verity Johnson cover my trip when I went to perform in the USA in Hollywood.
So.. what are my goals for 2018?
Kinda same, same but a few others added in. See below.
- Work smarter, not harder (am already making tracks to do this!)
- Invest in my professional development (started on this in late 2018 and continuing now)
- Grow my empire (Va-Va-Voom Productions, Bambina Burlesque Academy, Lilly Loca)
- Level Up (Acts, costumes, etc)
- Don't take s**t from anyone
- Self Care (which I am including my former goal of surrounding myself with positive, like minded people into as it's really a part of self care)
- Keep a weekly blog (which I am already doing right now!)
What are your goals? Feel free to leave a comment below!
Next week on the blog: Burlesque Essentials